Back to beautiful Bolivar

If you are 22 years old, five years is a long time, a very long time. 2010 was the last time I was in Bolivar, a small town in the southwest of Missouri. A place I call my second home.
Whoever gets to know me will most likely hear me talking about my time as a high school exchange student in Missouri at some point. For those of you, who have no idea what I am talking about right now, let me fill you in!

In August 2008, after I just turned 16, I left home for the very first time. I was terrified! It was a big step for me to go to a different country where I didn’t know anyone, to talk a language that I knew a little but was not confident with and to be away from my family and usual surrounding for 6 months. When I then found out that I was placed in a small town in Missouri, I cried and let me tell you, not because of joy. I had never heard of that place and all of a sudden it felt real – I had to leave my comfort zone.

Even though I have to admit that I had a bit of a rough start in Missouri, it didn’t take me long until I started loving my life there. Having this new experience of living the small town life in a rural and conservative Midwestern town in the heart of America, was something I will never forget. I had a fantastic time attending an American high school, had great classes, made many fun friends and joined the volleyball team. I was never good at playing it but looking back it was probably one of the wisest decisions I have ever made. It was at volleyball practice where I met Sara Scott.

The girls of the volleyball team at Bolivar High School in 2008

My organization placed me with a couple that was nice but had huge issues with their relationship. They were about to divorce, were fighting and just didn’t give me a comfortable place to stay. I wasn’t happy with the living situation and talked to my newly made friends about it. Sara Scott was one of them and all of a sudden she became my host sister. She first offered me to stay with her and quickly we could also convince her parents. Being just 16 and handling this whole situation (telling my old host family that I am leaving and introducing myself to the new one) was probably one of the biggest challenges for me. In the end everything just worked out perfectly and only within a few weeks I finally felt welcomed and at home. The Scott family treated me like a daughter and sister, like a niece and a granddaughter. It was them and the community of Bolivar who didn’t only make my stay unforgettable but also gave me a second home on the other side of the world. I am confident and certain to say that the time in Missouri made me part of the person I am today. I made experiences I will tell my grandkids about and met people that I will keep in my heart forever.

My host family and me at Johnny’s 11th birthday at El Rodeo

High School Homecoming with Hannah, Sara, Kaleigh, Kayla, Breanna and myself

Sara and her high school sweetheart Keith (+ little Johnny)

Family vacation in Playa del Carmen, Mexico

It was this positive experience that encouraged me to go abroad and discover the world. It taught me that one will always find nice people who care and every place can become ‘home’. I read a saying the other day and I loved it because it is so true and it describes it all:

Home is not a place, it is a feeling.

When I was staying in Bolivar in 2008, Sara was dating her big love Keith. Already back then she talked about getting married and to be honest I never doubted that. For years I talked with Sara about a potential wedding. I told her that I wanted to be there for it but she didn’t get engaged, so I was just waiting patiently for an invitation…
Last summer it eventually happened: Keith proposed to her and the happy wedding planning finally began! From my point of view it was perfect timing – thank you Keith for that! Flying in for the wedding from Germany would have been possible but of course had also involved a lot more planning and money. So I was already in the USA and ‘only’ had to make my way from the Northwest to the Midwest. I asked my boss for a few days off which she kindly approved for this special and for me once in a lifetime event (my sister got married!!!) and my dear co-worker Melinda helped me to find a good flight (benefits of working with people who know about every flight there is in the USA). I packed my dress and the wedding gift and in the blink of an eye I found myself sitting in an air plane from Portland to Kansas City on Wednesday, April 22nd.

The weeks before I went back I was just excited and couldn’t wait to get there but as soon I was in the air some doubts came up. 2010 was the last time I was in Bolivar. Back then I was on a summer vacation with my German family and celebrated my 18^th birthday. Since then a lot has changed in my life; I graduated from high school, went to college, traveled and lived abroad several times. I was afraid that Bolivar was very different than I remembered it, that people changed and I couldn’t relive the positive experience.

The flight was pleasant with Southwest Airlines and I was lucky to get a window seat. After 3 and a half hours of passing almost all possible landscapes: forests, mountains, lakes, canyons,desert and lots of flat land, I touched Missourian ground (is that even a word?).

It was an early morning – I left Portland at 6:30 am.

Beautiful sunrise over Oregon

My dear and beloved Mt. Hood (Mt. Jefferson in the background)

Rocky Mountains

The Midwest – to me that looks so cool!

Made it!

Only in the Midwest… (at Kansas City Airport)

Kansas City is almost the exact same size as Portland but I didn’t spend any more time than necessary. I rented a car to drive down the 250 km which took me around 2 and a half hours. I never rented a car all on my own before, but everything worked out and I even got a free upgrade – thank you Alamo! I cruised down south and enjoyed the landscape that is so different than anything here in Oregon. And then it happened: I saw the first sign that said ‘Bolivar’. It was only 55 miles away. I wasn’t really sure what to think.

My rented car

On the road – Kansas City

Getting closer…

I left the highway, drove down the main street and saw Bolivar for the first time after 5 years. It was really overwhelming and I really had to control myself not to start crying. Almost nothing had changed – there are one, two, maybe three new stores or businesses but besides that it looked the exact same. In this second I realized: I came home. I arrived at the Scott’s house where Jill and Johnny (my host mom and brother) welcomed me. When I first hugged them, I couldn’t help it anymore and started crying. I was back – finally.
From the first minute on it wasn’t awkward, it was just normal, just like ‘always’. Johnny was probably the only one though who had really changed. The last time I saw him he was a little 12-year old boy, now he is way taller than I am, but everyone else looked as great as always.

When I arrived the wedding countdown almost came to an end, so there were a million things that needed to get organized, planned, checked… I was so glad to be right in the middle of everything. Wednesday night we took it quite easy though and I only caught up with my host grandparents and eventually also got see Gregg, my host dad, and the main persons of this weekend: Sara and Keith. We were hanging out in the kitchen, had dinner and I can’t say it often enough: it was so normal. I felt like I was 16 again, just got back from high school and volleyball practice.

Thursday I started the day off with Jill who got her nails done and in the meantime I used the time to stroll through downtown Bolivar. Walking those streets made me really realize how much I missed it! For lunch we met in the Mediterranean Restaurant which is fairly new, at least to me. I love Mediterranean food so I was excited for that PLUS we met up with Sara and Hannah. Hannah is Sara’s best friend and therefore I also spent a lot of time with her back in high school. It was great seeing her again! She hasn’t changed a bit besides… the ring on her finger. Hannah is happily married to her high school sweetheart Alex since 1.5 years . After our delicious lunch I joined the two girls and we got coffee, ran some errands and worked on some crafting which Sara had planned for her wedding decoration.

City hall and main square of Bolivar

Lunch with Jill, Sara and Hannah

In the afternoon we got ready for something very exciting: the rehearsal!!! We made our way to the Goodson Missionary Baptist Church which is out in the idyllic countryside. At the rehearsal I met many more people I haven’t seen in ages like my dear host aunt Jodie and her family, the other two bridesmaids Breanna and Sarah as well as all the groomsmen and the groom’s family. It was a big get together.
The boys moved around the benches to make the church more suitable for the wedding, while Sara was working hard on a schedule for her big day. When is what going to happen during the ceremony? Who gets seated when and where? Where do the bridesmaids and the groomsmen stand? All those questions needed an answer. The pastor was there as well and they went through the key scenes of the wedding ceremony. The atmosphere was all relaxed and funny but still just sitting in that church and seeing Sara and Keith up front with the pastor was very emotional to me.

The engaged couple, Keith and Sara

Moving around benches in the church

The bridesmaids Hannah, Breanna and Sarah, the bride to be and myself

All the boys

Flower girl Payton and wing man Michael

The bridesmaids are ready

Sara and Gregg at the altar

Unity Braid – Practice makes perfect

Already looks quite good to me

The almost married couple

After rehearsing and going through everything that was important for Saturday, it was already quite late and we were all starving. In Bolivar there is only one logical answer to this problem: EL RODEO – the local Mexican restaurant. Sara worked there as a waiter for years during high school and college, the Scotts are very good friends with the owners and the food is so delicious. I simply couldn’t wait to go! We were all sitting in that big extra room where I also got a surprise party for my 18^th birthday. It was great gathering with everyone and we enjoyed some delicious Fajitas! Sitting there with the same group of people like years ago gave me this very warm and homey feeling, again.

Having dinner at El Rodeo with everyone

Nothing has changed since high school: Alex & Hannah, Sara & Keith, Breanna & Dale

Friday, April 24^th was not only the last day before the big wedding but also Sara’s 24^th birthday! In the morning Jill and I were running some more errands before we met for lunch with the birthday girl, the bridesmaids, Jennifer (Jill’s friend, close friend of the family and huge helper at the wedding) and Martha (my host grandpa’s new wife who helped a lot with the decoration). We had lunch at another Bolivar local favorite, Kathy’s Pasta. After we ate we made our way back to the church to decorate it. I was amazed how some decoration can change the whole look of the simple church. We were putting pictures of Sara and Keith in golden frames, set up the table for the guest book, inflated some balloons to guide the guests the way from the church to the reception location and made it look as pretty as possible. The result was amazing and I absolutely loved the final look of the church. It was ready for the big event!

Crafting, Preparing, Cleaning…

The little details

Those girls…

… are my favorite 🙂

The whole excitement seemed to make us all really tired though. We girls went back to Walmart to get some last bits and pieces (I probably have been to Walmart five times during the first two days! It’s the place in Bolivar to get everything you would ever need – nothing changed here, it was the same back in high school days). We gave ourselves a treat and went for some chocolate dipped ice cream cones at McDonald’s, just the right way to celebrate Sara’s golden birthday. This was something new I learned. Apparently it’s your golden birthday when the age is the same number as your day of birth. So for example mine already happened: I turned 14 at the 14^th of July.
The girls are all so much fun to be around and little moments like getting ice cream were already always my favorite back in the old days. We all went back home to get ready for the evening where we would celebrate Sara’s birthday some more.The girls dropped me off at the Scott’s house and there something very touching happened. We all went inside and while Jill was showing us her dress, we girls were hanging out all over the bed being all tired and exhausted. All of the sudden Sara got up and asked if she could pray with us. We were all holding hands and the words she said were so touching. I just felt so blessed and thankful to be in that circle of wonderful people.

Look at this happy pile of girls

In the evening we all met for dinner and drinks at the Silo Ridge Country Golf Club. It was not only Sara’s last birthday but also her last night as a Scott girl. We had the best time catching up, laughing, taking photos and celebrating Sara’s 24^th birthday. Keith surprised her with a really nice ice cream cake which we all enjoyed a lot. We girls gathered to finish up one of the last things Sara wanted for her wedding: ribbon bows around little bubble bottles for their send off after the ceremony. We had 350 bottles to fix but with all the girls helping and having a fun time we got it done in no time!

Birthday dinner with Sarah and Sara

Sarah and all the boys

Hannah & Alex 🙂

Sarah and her date Joe

With Breanna and Hannah

Fun!

All the girlies

Good old Dale

To the birthday girl!

Gathering of the girls

Saturday, April 25^th 2015 was the day everyone has been preparing and waiting for: Keith and Sara’s wedding!

My alarm was set for 7:00 o’clock, I took a quick shower and didn’t have to worry about getting ready because therefore we had plenty of time later on. Sara, the bridesmaids and I loaded everything into the car and got ready to leave for the barn at 8:30 am. When we arrived 45 minutes later, there was already a lot going on: people were decorating, moving around tables and making this location the most beautiful it could possibly get. The Weathered Wisdom Barn is just outside of a town called Preston. The reception location is out in the country, all wooden and was built by the Amish. It is now entirely used for weddings. Upstairs there are two separate rooms, one for the bride and one for the groom and their acquaintances.

The hairdresser Julie started to do Sara’s hair, while the girls helped with the organizing and decorating the barn. Jennifer, Sandy and Teresa, all friends of the family, came with their cute ‘Bridal Support’ – t-shits and brought amazing food and drinks.

Sara getting ready and the bridesmaids in their Kimono

Wedding mornings…

Hair check. Make up check.

One after another got ready

And also the reception location was about to be ready

After Sara’s hair was done Julie started to fix all the bridesmaids’ hair and Lisa came to fix everyone’s makeup. With every minute, every curl and every added makeup it got closer to the final look and everyone started realizing this is the big wedding day. As time passed by more people came to help, the groom and the groomsmen arrived to get ready, Jordan the photographer came and captured the moments of getting ready and final touches of hair and makeup were done before everyone was putting on their dresses. Seeing Sara in her wedding dress for the first time was the first emotional highlight of the day. She just looked so beautiful. She put on her veil and all of a sudden she was a bride – the most beautiful one I have seen. It was a very emotional atmosphere and this small room was filled with so much happiness and blessings.

There she is! Sara in her wedding dress

Mother and Daughter

The bride and her bridesmaids

First look before the ceremony

Everyone looked absolutely stunning and we were more than ready to get this girl married! We left at around 2 o’clock and it took us around 25 minutes to drive from the barn to the church. Sara, her bridesmaids and I were sitting in the car and everyone just followed their own thoughts. There was not too much conversation going on, but everyone was just enjoying this last moments with Sara Scott. We were half way there, when Sara asked us if anyone took the bag with the rings… nope, no one did. Just like the movies! Fortunately wedding planner Jera could turn back around and got the rings. Problem solved!

Last car selfie before the wedding started

When we arrived at the church, it was time to take pictures. For me this was very different because whenever I have been to weddings all the family pictures were taken after the ceremony, but in this case it was taken before. There were countless different options who posed with whom. Bride and groom with parents, with grandparents, with siblings, with aunts, with the whole family………..
Once all this was done, it was time to greet and let in all the guests who made their way out to the church. I had the pleasure to be the guest book attended. This meant that I was standing at the entrance of the church, said hi to everyone before the ushers (Caleb and Clayton, Sara’s cousins) accompanied everyone to their places. I asked the people to sign the guest book and already took some gifts that people brought. Their guestbook was very different to traditional ones though. Keith and Sara decided to let their guests sign a piece of the game Jenga. They will store them all in a big glass vase and I think this will be a lovely memory.

To me the ‘job’ of being the guest book attendant was more than perfect because that way I got to see each and every person that walked in. I saw so many old faces and it was so great giving lots of hugs and having little catch ups. That was so much fun for me!

That’s me all dressed up for the wedding at the guest book attended table

My host family! Johnny, Jill, Sara, Keith & Gregg

The church slowly filled up

All females of the wedding party got this beautiful flower corsage

At 3:30 I shut the door of the church after the last person walked in. There were so many guests that not even everyone had a seat and people were standing in the back and all round the sides of the church. We were ready for the ceremony! Lisa started playing the piano while the close members of the bridal and grooms party walked in. The grandparents, the siblings (Johnny escorted me to my place), the parents, the bridesmaids, the groom and the groomsmen, the ring bearer, the flower girl AND then it was time for everyone to stand up. Sara walked down the aisles with Gregg on her said. To me this was so emotional. Usually happy tears don’t come that easy to me, but that day everything was different. Seeing beautiful Sara with her dad and how he gave his daughter to Keith; it was just so touching. I was sitting next to Jill and had the pleasure to follow the ceremony from the front row. I really had to control myself to not let my tears stream down. It was just such a beautiful and happy day!

The ceremony itself was lovely and most importantly both said ‘I do’!!! Even though Sara was first confused on which finger to put Keith’s ring, but she figured it out and all of a sudden they were husband and wife.

The bridesmaids and best man Johnny waiting for the bride

The groomsmen waiting for the bride

10449189_10204187358899972_2214812704498718528_n

Jill and I waiting for the bride

And there she walks down the aisle – on the side of her dad

Gregg gives his daughter to Keith

The ceremony begins

Sara eventually got the right hand for Keith’s ring

Husband and Wife

The first kiss!

Mr. and Mrs. Lipsey

Sara and Keith escaped into a room next to the main building to wait until all the guests left the church. In that little room it was my first chance to give the newlyweds a huge hug. I was so happy for them! Meanwhile all the guests were forming an aisle outside for Sara and Keith’s send off and got the bubble bottles we prepared the night before.

Eventually Sara and Keith walked through all their family and friends who were blowing bubbles on them. They left in Keith’s car which had paint all over and cans in the back.

First picture with my married sister

She was so happy and relieved!

The bridesmaids sending the newlyweds off

Just married!

We all drove back to the Weathered Wisdom Barn. When we walked in the barn we were welcomed by a perfectly decorated location. The food and drinks were delivered and the waiters were ready to serve. After taking another couple of pictures outside of the married couple, the bridesmaids and the groomsmen, it was time to let the guests in. Within no time every spot was filled and the barn was entirely full.

The Weathered Wisdom Barn

Decorations all done, ready for the guests

Can you tell that gold was one of the wedding colors?

#lipseylovers

Photoshooting

Probably my favorite picture of me and the girls!!!

Here are all the hungry guests

This was gone in no time – really cool idea though

The wedding cake!

Aunt Jodie and Jill

The DJ announced Mr. and Mrs. Lipsey for the first time and they walked through the cheering crowd. By then it was around 5:30 and everyone was starving. There were food stations with pasta, different sliders, dips, cracker, cheese, fruits and vegetables. Unfortunately I almost didn’t eat anything because there were just so many people getting food at the same time. Also all the excitement and catching up with people kept me from eating.

After dinner all the official parts of a wedding needed to be covered: the first dance (which was choreographed to Ed Sheeran’s ‘Thinking out loud’), the father-daughter and mother-son dance, the toss of the bouquet (I touched it but Keith’s sister Kristy caught it), cutting of the cake (it didn’t only look amazing but tasted great!!!), speeches by Hannah and Kyle (Hannah’s was so touching and Kyle’s was short and funny), the Dollar Dance (where you pay to dance with either the bride or the groom) and eventually the atmosphere changed from a sit down dinner to a wedding party. Many people were dancing and enjoying themselves. It was great to see all the fun, laughter and how friends and family shared this special day with Sara and Keith. For me it was a bit like a high school reunion – I got the chance to talk to people I haven’t seen in a very long time. The evening went by with a great DJ, lots of dancing, many shared memories and an unforgettable wedding. But let me stop talking and let those photos speak for themselves:

Mr. & Mrs.

Cutting the cake

First Dance

Look at them

They got their choreography down

So pretty

Father daughter dance

Jill and Hannah! Navy was definitely the color to wear 😉

Keith removing Sara’s garter

Almost there…

He cheated a bit in the end and used his hands

As Keith tossed the garter to the unmarried men, this little guy in the front caught it!

The Dollar Dance

My dear friend Lindsey

Everyone who was still there from the class of 2009

Daaaancing

The most beautiful bride

The gorgeous bridesmaids Breanna and Hannah

I just love them!

It got later and the moves got crazier…

High school friends Dale, Jake and Sara

My dear Hannah. So glad I got to spend so much time with her!

Everyone had the best time!

The center of the party – literally

Taking photos with everyone

They should be the next ones to get married!

My friend Jake

My favorite people!

My second parents Gregg and Jill

My second brother Johnny

The most beautiful couple! Congratulations!

A cultural difference is certainly the length of the wedding reception. Whereas in Germany wedding parties won’t stop until very late in the night (open end…), many people already left after dinner and when the dancing started almost only younger people were still there. In Germany weddings are those rare occasions where you will see your grandma, old family friends and neighbors dancing past midnight. This is different here in the US were the DJ stopped playing at around 10 pm (and she already played an hour longer than initially planned). I also asked Americans here in Oregon about this and they agreed that weddings in the USA don’t tend to last as long as in Germany.

I left with Jill and Jennifer to go back home and we left Sara and Keith behind who spent their first night as a married couple in the barn. When I was lying in my bed, I recapped the beautiful day in my head. Deep down in my heart I felt so endlessly happy and I fell asleep with a big smile on my face. A day I will never forget.

Goodnight Mr. and Mrs. Lipsey

One last kiss

Sunday, April 26^th started really slow. We slept in and took it easy that morning, talked about everything that has happened and recovered from all the excitement. Jill kindly prepared Biscuits and Gravy on my special request. It was them who introduced me to this one of a kind delicious breakfast. Gregg and Jill almost always prepared it on Sundays before church and ever since I love it. Outside of the Midwest it is quite difficult to get and outside of the USA it is impossible. I can do it myself and did it a few times at home but nothing is better than the original. Yummy!

At noon it was time to get ready for a baptism. My host cousin Molly’s stepdaughter Rachel got baptized. So we all gathered at the river for this event. Even Sara and Keith made it – on their first day of marriage. While the community sang and prayed, Rachel and another man walked into the river to get baptized by the same pastor that only married Sara and Keith the day before. Even though it was freezing that day it was really nice to be at the ceremony. We shook hands with everyone and it was great seeing some people from church again. My host grandma invited the whole family to have lunch together. She does that every Sunday and I think it is such a nice tradition. We went to Smith’s Restaurant. We were quite a big party and that way it took them forever to serve our food. We already joked around that this is more of a dinner than a lunch. It didn’t bother me too much since I was just around everyone and got to spend precious time together which was the most important to me.

Baptism at the river

After lunch Gregg and Jill took me to see my friend Delaney. She has been a very dear friend to me when I lived there and we had always lots of fun together. I was so glad that it worked out to see each other. She was still the same sweet blond curly girl that I remember but her life also changed a lot since the last time I saw her. She is not only a wife but also mother to a very sweet little boy. I am so happy I got to meet her little 9 months old and it was so great catching up. Obviously there was a lot to talk about since our lives were filled with so many adventures though really different ones.

My sweet friend Delaney

In the late afternoon the new connected families met at the Scott’s house to watch Sara and Keith unwrapping all their wedding presents. Man, did they get many gifts?? It took them a decent amount of time to open every single box and card. They got everything that they could ever possibly use in their new house, many gift cards and also some really sweet crafted and handmade gifts. People are so talented and got really creative.

Yes they did get ‘some’ gifts

Opening ALL these gifts

People were so generous!

Once everything was opened and kind of organized, it was dinner time. No one besides me was really hungry but since it was my last night I asked (or rather made them) to go to El Rodeo once again. It is my favorite place in Bolivar and therefore I just had to go another time. Who knew when I would get the next opportunity? In the end only Gregg, Keith and I were eating something and everyone else watched. I had my favorite dish that I used to eat every single time back in the days: Chicken and Cheese Quesadilla. The best I have ever had anywhere in the world! Again (and I know I repeat myself), it was just so nice chatting, laughing and making memories with the family.

With the family at El Rodeo

In the evening while sitting on the couch and watching TV, I had a familiar feeling inside me. It was the feeling of January 6^th 2009 – the last night of my stay. I felt happy and comfortable on the one hand because I was home and very sad on the other one, knowing I had to leave very soon. Goodbyes are the worst, especially if you don’t know the next time you will see each other.

Monday morning, April 27^th I packed all my stuff together and went on a breakfast date with Jill, Sara and Keith. Once again I had Biscuits and Gravy. The newlyweds got all excited because the next day they were leaving for their honeymoon to Jamaica. I said my goodbyes to Sara and Keith and only a bit later to Jill and Gregg. It was time for me to leave and catch my plane in Kansas City. Of course I was sad that the time in Bolivar was already over but other feelings dominated. I was thankful for the opportunity to be part of the amazing weeding, I was happy that everyone was so welcoming and made me feel at home again, I was grateful for every moment that I spent with people that I love and that showed me that it is possible to have a home away from home. All the doubts I had before were gone. Nothing had changes at all, not even after 5 long years!

I drove back north to Kansas City in my super chic car and recapped the exciting and intense past five days and realized one thing: I am so lucky and never would have thought on August 6^th 2008 when I first ever heard of Bolivar, Missouri that this town and it’s warm hearted people can make me feel the way they do today.

I got the last window seat on my Southwest Airlines flight and got ready to take off to Portland. Before I turned off my phone I saw that I received three texts:

One from Jill, who send over many sweet words about our time together,
One from Sarah (my host mom in Oregon), who said that she was looking forward picking me up from the airport in Portland,
And one from my REAL mom, Heike, who wished me a good and safe flight. I was in touch with her the whole weekend and I think she was probably as excited as I was. She knows all the people that I was telling stories about and was so excited for me to be back there.

I had three ‘moms’ who cared and shared their love. It meant so much to me!

Getting ready to leave

We took off and my little journey into the past ended. Thank you to everyone who made the five days unforgettable – you know who you are!!! Last but not least CONGRATULATIONS to the newly married Sara and Keith Lipsey! All the best for the rest of your life and I can’t wait to see you grow old together! You two are amazing and I love you lots and lots!

Bye Bye Bolivar – I will see you again one day!

Anneke

I will end this super long blog post with impressions from 40,000 feet.