A new host family…

You cannot change the people around you
but you can change the people that you choose to be around.

The title already tells you what happened: I changed host families!

The process of changing has been a long one, at least in my head. I have lived with host families before and therefore know what it is like and what I can expect. I also know that when you decide to live abroad, one of the biggest challenges is probably living together with people who are total strangers to you in the beginning. This is an extreme situation and having in mind that every family is different, I did my best to accept and respect the host family’s choices.
From the very beginning it didn’t really work out with them in many different ways. The situation was never really bad either and that is probably why I stayed with them for exactly 7 months. Even though friends, co-workers and my parents in Germany (who saw the situation when they visited me) encouraged me and gave me the advice to change since months, I didn’t. I wanted to get through it, make the best out of this situation and therefore dealt with it.
Another import reason why I didn’t change was the fact that from my personal experience I know how difficult it is to find a new place to stay – especially in this area. This was one of the factors I didn’t ask my organization for help either and instead looked myself for solutions. German exchange students pay, compared to exchange students from other countries, a very low stipend. Therefore many host families prefer taking those who pay more, makes sense. In my opinion though one should decide to host students because of the international experience and the interest of learning about other cultures. But unfortunately this is in many cases not the reality here; people host because of the money.
Maybe some of you noticed that I was rarely ever talking about my host family on my blog and there is a simple reason for it: I wasn’t around them a lot. Of course we lived in one house but we barely saw, communicated or interacted with each other. I am a very social person. I like to hang out with people, talk and enjoy other’s company. Unfortunately this was not possible with this family. I don’t want to get into detail about why living with this family is absolutely not a suitable environment for exchange students, but there are serious issues concerning mental health, the housing and social situation; just to name a few reasons. This all added up to a long list of things which in the end convinced me to leave.

Even though I always had the idea of changing host families in the back of my head, I was never looking actively for it. But just like always: when you least expect it, it happens. In my case things changed literally from one day to the other.
On Friday, March 27th 2015, I hung out with Sarah who works for my old host mom. I have known Sarah already since September and we always got along really good. Since I started working though, we haven’t seen each other. So there was a lot we had to catch up on in each other’s life. She always knew about my living situation and after spending that afternoon together, she thought about it and spontaneously offered me to stay in her guest room. I didn’t have to think about it and only two days later, on Sunday, March 29th 2015, I moved houses! I didn’t only leave the host family behind but more important a lot of negativity.

A new chapter began!

It is amazing what a difference that change made to my stay here. Though I want to emphasize that I always enjoyed my stay here and had a great time, but now it is just so much better. I am looking forward going home, spending the weekends and my free time with them. But what is ‘home’ now?
For the upcoming months I will call a small cute house in the historic district of West Linn my home. It is around 10 minutes away from the house where I used to live and surrounded by very pretty old houses, close to the main street with small shops, restaurants and bars and only a few blocks away from the Tualatin River which flows here into the Willamette River. I don’t live on a steep hill anymore and actually can walk places.
But a lot more important than the location of the house are my new hosts! I am living together with a young, dynamic and lovely family of four. There is mom Sarah, her partner Matt, their son Ben who is 3 years old, Sarah’s son Tim, who is 7 years old as well as dog Izzy and cat Bo.
Sarah is only 31 years old and therefore she is more like a big sister or a friend than my ‘host mom’. They all gave me a great welcome and I feel so much more comfortable now. I am getting along great with the kids and I love having them around me. I am already thinking about how I can take little Ben with me to Germany. He is the cutest little boy (who of course he has his moments!).
I have a lovely room which I don’t spend a lot of time in anymore because I am hanging out with everyone in the living room and kitchen area. We are chatting, playing, cooking, eating and watching movies. All that seems so normal but it certainly was not normal for me in the past 7 months. Even though I am only here since three weeks, it feels like I have been with them for so much longer. I am so relieved and happy that I made this decision which will make the last months of my stay in Oregon one to remember. The situation couldn’t be better, I love my job and I love my host family. Looking back though, the negative experience with the old host family definitely taught me a lot and made me stronger. Again I feel like: Everything happens for a reason!

Fortunately I changed before the next big holiday came up: Easter. To me Easter is maybe not the most important holiday but still it is a day to spend together with family and celebrate a little bit. Of course it is even more fun celebrating Easter with kids around. Sunday morning Tim and Ben were super excited because – believe it or not – the Easter bunny dropped off two big baskets filled with little toys and lots of chocolate. What a lovely way to start the day!

Tim and Ben coloring Easter eggs

In the morning I skyped my family in Germany and this time it was extra special because I also got to see my grandma and my cousin Vanessa for the first time since I left. Catching up with everyone and seeing that they are all happy and bright as always, made it a little bit easier that I was not there with them in our house in Berlin. Tim and Ben were also around while we skyped and waved into the camera. For them it is of course so difficult to understand where I am from. Tim asked me how long it takes to drive to my home and I told him there was no road from Portland to Berlin. He just couldn’t believe it! I have no idea what they think where that girl with the funny accent comes from…  it is just too cute.

At noon we got ready to leave for the family event. Matt had to work, so it was only Sarah, the kids and myself. Sarah’s great-aunt lives far out in the countryside, about 45 minutes away from here, in the middle of nowhere. The elderly couple has a scenic wooden cabin in the forest right next to a river. Sarah introduced me to everyone and tried to explain how she is related to whom but seriously, coming from a very small family, this was overwhelming. There were so many aunts, cousins, grandparents, small kids, in-laws……… I was relieved though that even Sarah didn’t know everyone. The family was super nice and I felt very welcomed. Everyone contributed something to the big lunch buffet and before we started enjoying the food, we all stood together in a circle, held hands and prayed.
After the lunch the highlight of the day began: the traditional big Easter egg hunt!!! The property is really big and the Easter eggs were all over. Because of the high chance that not all eggs will be found, there were coins in the little plastic eggs instead of candy. I am pretty sure we did find some Easter eggs from previous years, considering what the plastic eggs and the coins looked like. The Easter bunny did a really good job hiding the eggs: on and in the ground, underneath bushes, on trees, somewhere in the underwood…..
The kids were super excited but the moment the hunt started, it didn’t only start raining – no, it started hailing!!! Sarah and Ben went on the hunt together and I helped Tim to find more eggs. Despite the hail (which hurt and was cold!), we had a great time and fun digging through the bushes and looking for those colorful eggs. Of course Ben didn’t like the weather at all and was quickly done with the hunt just like almost everyone else. Only Sarah, Tim and I kept looking for more eggs. Some kids showed up later and everyone helped each other. It was a very nice, peaceful and challenging hunt even for adults. When we were done, the kids opened their eggs and counted their money. Considering that the highest value of coins in the USA are 25 cents, the kids were not totally spoiled. Tim was pretty sure though that he will certainly be a millionaire within the next years! I am sure he will be – one day!
After spending a lot of time outside we warmed up inside, had some dessert, some nice chats and then it was already time to go home. It was definitely a wonderful Easter and a great first weekend with my new host family.

Waiting in line to get food

Let the Easter egg hunt in the hail begin

Sarah and Ben

What a combination, hail and daisies

Tim in the woods

Excitement looks slightly different…

Sarah and Tim looking for more eggs

Colored plastic eggs filled with coins

What’s inside?

In the end Sarah opened them all…

My new host family: Tim, Sarah and Ben

After all the excitement of moving, everything calmed down pretty quickly and I have a new daily routine and days in April passed by really fast. I was working, went to the movies with two of my co-workers, went out for drinks, looked around at garage sales with my host family, did some shopping, took walks, watched movies and TV shows (right now Sarah and I are obsessed with watching the reality TV show ‘Married at first sight’!!!) and just enjoyed a normal everyday life. Something I haven’t had to this extend in a long time.
In the mornings when I am leaving for work little Ben is the sweetest thing on earth. The other day he was standing on the window, waving goodbye until he couldn’t see me anymore. And when I get home from work the two little monkeys already wait right behind the front door, jumping up and down, the dog Izzy is as always all over the place, Sarah is preparing dinner and I feel like there are people actually caring about me. Overall I am just enjoying it to the fullest. Although now I need to pay more attention of my personal belongings – either the two year old dog will chew on it or the three year old Ben will always find a reason to do something with it. 😉

Building tracks and trains with Ben

My new home. The window next to the front door on the right is my room and you can spot Ben in his room on the very right side

Waving goodbye before I leave for work

On Sunday, April 12th, I went to see a soccer match!
A soccer match? YES, finally soccer! I have been to all kind of sporting events the past months which I always enjoyed but I still like watching soccer the most. I know all the rules, I can actually follow the match and it only lasts 90 minutes (okay with overtime maybe 96 minutes), but you know that in foreseeable future the game is over (not like American football or baseball…).
My college coordinator Rahi kindly provided us with tickets for the match Portland Timbers vs. Orlando Lions. Compared to other regions of the USA soccer and of course especially the Timbers are quite popular here in Portland and people are interested in watching it. Their home stadium is an old Baseball stadium right in the city center, the ‘Providence Park’. It was built in the early 20th century and today up to 20.000 fans can cheer for their team. This is of course fairly small compared to some European stadiums but considering that soccer only got more popular the last few years it’s quite big. One thing that is very special about the Portland Timbers: their fans, the Timbers Army.
Again to Europeans this doesn’t sound very special because every soccer club has their own, sometimes very dedicated, fans with season tickets who attend every match and live for their team. This might also exist in the USA but it doesn’t that they gather all together in one section of the stadium and encourage their teams by singing songs, showing scarves, throwing confetti, waving flags and doing so called ‘Tifo’ which are the huge visual displays (everyone is holding a specific color to make a whole big picture). All these are things almost no other supporter group in the US does but the Portland Timbers Army. They are nationally well known for all that.
We didn’t have assigned seats but the section we were in, was right above the Timbers Army! That way we could watch them and caught the special atmosphere. It was great and so different to all the other American sporting events.
The match itself though was a bit boring. It was neither fast nor exciting. Both teams met in the middle almost the whole time and so there were not even many chances for either team to score. In the 30th minute Orlando scored the first goal. Bummer. Nothing really happened then for a long time but then it got a bit tense in the 85th minute. Portland’s keeper Kwarasey was called for a foul in the box which gave Orlando a penalty kick. The first attempt was saved but Portland’s player Chara was entering the box to early which lead to another attempt for Orlando. This time there was no chance for Kwarasey to save the ball. The match ended 2-0. Very disappointing for Portland and especially for us since it was our first Timber’s match. We didn’t get the chance to see how the Timbers Army celebrates a goal but I hope that we will get the chance to watch another match before we leave.

Main entrance

Before the game, the national anthem

Everyone standing up during the national anthem

Red is Portland, white Orlando. On the very left you can see Brazilian player Kaka who was the only player I have heard of before

The match began

Timbers Army

Oops, yellow card!

Penalty shot #1

Penalty shot #2

Wavong flags and the only photo where you can kind of see the stadium

Last weekend has been the first weekend that is worth calling SUMMER! Although it’s only spring the temperatures went as high as 80 degrees (25° Celsius) with pure sunshine. I spend the weekend with my host family and enjoyed experiencing normal life with an American family while hanging out with them. We went to garage sales which are all over these days and made some pretty good deals. We cooked together, spent time in the sun and got a lot of gardening done. The family has a great big garden with some high shady trees but also enough sunny spots to grow fruits and vegetables. We got rid of all the weeds and Sarah planted peas, green beans, onions, chives, thyme, oregano, beets, squash, zucchini, strawberries and even watermelon and cantaloupe! With the warm and sunny weather now and the rain that is coming up everything should grow pretty fast. We are excited!

The little vegetable and fruit garden

The dog Izzy chews on EVERY ball!

Blowball or in German: Pusteblume

On Sunday, April 19th, we went to the Oswego Hills Winery. I have passed this vineyard already so many times, heard many locals raving about it and now it was finally time to go there. Sarah, Ben and myself plus our neighbor Michelle with her two twin boys Texas and Wyatt went to spend a nice time together. The winery is located idyllically in the countryside between West Linn and Lake Oswego. There is a big lawn area on the vineyard property where all the families made picnics. We brought fruits, crackers and cheese, the kids were running around and played with each other and the adults could taste wine at the same time. Everyone seemed to have a great Sunday!
The Oswego Hills Vineyard offers 13 wines – which we all got to taste in the hot midday sun. We had so much fun together and after the 5th wine it got more and more difficult to objectively judge which wines tasted better than others. They all seemed to be just great hahaha. We got to taste everything from white to rose and red to dessert wine. Having the wines, the sun, delicious snacks and the lovely ladies around to chat made this a perfect Sunday noon. We all agreed that we should do this more often since it is so close, affordable and a great experience for the whole family.

Picnics at the Winery

Vine

Let the tasting begin

That’s the complete list. I tried them all from Pinot Gris all the way to Tempranillo Port

Michelle, Sarah and myself

The boys fooling around

Taking a good picture with a toddler is almost impossible

Another try…

In the afternoon we picked up Tim who usually spends his weekends with his dad up in Vancouver, Washington which is just north of Portland. On our way back we passed IKEA and spontaneously decided to stop and have a look around. I am always in for a visit at IKEA and being that far away from home this shop always gives me a strange homey feeling. It’s certainly very weird but I absolutely love it anywhere in the world. We were hunting for patio furniture. Since summer is coming very soon and we will be outside a lot more Sarah thought this would be really useful for example to eat dinners outside. Fortunately IKEA did not disappoint and Sarah immediately found something she liked. Of course it was no problem for us two strong women to lift the 85 pound package, get it to the checkout and somehow also managed to put it in the car. The boys were a bit squeezed in, but we made it! At home we built it all up in no time and were super proud of ourselves. Project patio – successfully accomplished!

Tim and Ben at IKEA

Done! The patio furniture we built together and the lovely garden in the background

Look at those two enjoying their dinner at their special table

Living with Sarah and her family now for 3 weeks already had such an impact on my life here. I am beyond excited to spend the next months with them and I hope you got already an idea in this blog post how different it is: I actually spend time with my host family! It’s fantastic! Thank you Sarah, for everything.

Anneke